National Adoption Month!

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Happy #NationalAdoptionMonth!

The History of November being #NationalAdoptionMonth began in 1976 in Massachusetts when Governor Michael Dukakis announced an Adoption Week. This was then proclaimed as National Adoption Week by President Reagan in 1984. It was in 1995 that National Adoption Week’s awareness and time span was expanded to an entire month by President Clinton. So, why spread awareness of and celebrate adoption?

Adoption is an important, beautiful, and viable option that many people in the U.S. choose as a way to start or expand their family(s). #NationalAdoptionMonth is a month that people use to celebrate and reflect on how their lives have been impacted by adoption. It also provides a platform for spreading awareness of adoption-related news and issues. With so many children in foster care and without families both in the U.S. and abroad, it is vital that people are aware of the need to adopt and that they know the appropriate information on how to become foster parents or how to adopt those children in need.

Statistics (Adoption Network)

  • 428,000 children are in foster care in the U.S.
  • 135,000 children are adopted in the U.S. each year
  • More than 60% of children in foster care spend 2-5 years in the system before getting adopted; many never get adopted
  • Nearly 100 million Americans have adoption in their immediate family
  • 6 in 10 Americans have had personal experience with adoption
  • Around 7 million Americans are adopted
  • 37% of adopted children are non-Hispanic white compared to 73% of adoptive parents that are non-Hispanic white This means a large amount of children of color are adopted by white parents these are known as transracial adoptions
  • The number of international adoptions has been on the decline as many countries become more restrictive with adoption
  • Today, almost 60%-70% of domestic adoptions are open adoptions

There are many different ways to celebrate #NationalAdoptionMonth. For those families and people who have chosen to adopt or who have been adopted, here are some ways to celebrate this month:

  • Tell the story of your adoption or your child’s adoption to your family and friends or to your child.
  • Be aware of and plan a special event or celebration for the anniversary of your adoption. Many people refer to this anniversary as their “Forever Family Day”.
  • Look into, share, and reflect on your or your adopted child’s heritage.
  • Read a book or watch a movie that tells a positive adoption story or experience.
  • Write a thank you letter to the people who make adoption possible, like a social worker, an attorney, a judge, a foster care family, etc. This could be specific to those people who helped you, or to people who make adoption possible in general.
  • Spread awareness of your own unique adoption story on social media.
  • Connect with other families of adoption.

Not affected directly by adoption? There are still ways to celebrate and spread awareness!

  • Donate time and/or money to local organizations that support adoption.
  • Join local adoption-related events that encourage community participation.
  • Educate yourself and/or others about adoption and consider becoming a foster parent.
  • Read a book or watch a movie that tells a positive adoption story or experience.
  • Reach out to people in your life that have been affected by adoption to learn from their experiences and to affirm them.

One of the most important things to remember about adoption is that no two stories are alike. Each adoption story is unique and experiences its own triumphs and hardships. Some parents may struggle to adopt because of relational, emotional, legal, or financial challenges. Other parents may have the resources and privileges available for a more smooth experience. One thing is certain; both the adoptive parent(s) and the adoptee will likely deal with tough emotions and questions when the adoption takes place and throughout their lives. That is perfectly normal and there are endless amounts of families that can attest to differing adoption stories. Although adoption can prove to be challenging, it is still a great and selfless option!

Resources

The Becoming Program: This is a service of myHealth for pregnant and parenting teens. This program provides education, resources, and advocacy for any pregnant or parenting young person in need. As part of this program, nurses and caseworkers will work with the young person to give them the necessary care and information they need to empower them to make the best decision(s) for themselves and their baby. If a young person is unsure of what they want to do or would like to set up an adoption plan, the Becoming Program can help with that as well. The goal of this program is to give a young person the tools and skills to be healthy during and after a pregnancy and while parenting, if that is what they choose to do. To find out more about this service check us out online at: https://myhealthmn.org/becoming-program/  

For Parents Seeking to Adopt (MN):

 

For Adoptive Parents to Read to Their Adopted Child:

 

  • Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born – A little girl asks her parents to retell the story of her adoption and the night she was born.
  • The Mulberry Bird: An Adoption Story – A Mother Bird is unable to care for her baby, so she creates an adoption plan to provide him with the future she wants him to have.
  • A Mama for Owen – When Owen the baby hippo’s mama is lost in a tragic tsunami, he becomes best friends with Mzee the tortoise, who becomes his new “mama.” A new family begins after a painful loss.
  • Elliot – A young rabbit in the foster care system goes through difficult and complex emotions, even though he knows his foster families love him very much. A social worker comes to help Elliot understand that he’ll never be able to go back to his old home and helps his adoptive parents to understand what Elliot has been through.

 

 

For Adoptees:

  • Adoptees On – A podcast where adoptees discuss their real life experiences with adoption; giving listeners a deeper understanding of adoption.
  • The Rambler – A podcast where the host, Mike McDonald, holds candid interviews with adoptees from all around the world.
  • I Am Adopted – A blog in which the author shares her take on dealing with trauma adoptees face during and after adoption.
  • No Apologies For Being Me – A blog that is a resource for anyone coming to terms with their own adoption.
  • The Adoptee Survival Guide: Adoptees Share Their Wisdom and Tools – 30 adoptees share their voices and experiences to this book to provide support for other adoptees.
  • The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child – This book has been referred to as the “bible” for adoptees as it discusses the lifelong effects of adoption.
  • http://adopteereading.com/
    • This website is full of books by and recommended by adoptees for other people affected by adoption

 

These are just a few of the awesome resources that exist! Anyone seeking resources or advice about adoption should check out the resources provided as well as seek out resources specific to their experience and needs.

October: Let’s Talk Month

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Check out what a member of our Youth Advisory Board has to say about talking with parents about sexuality.

We are all familiar with the infamously awkward and uncomfortable sex talk. You can recall the agonizing portrayal in movies where a child is sat down on the living room couch as their parents stand above them blundering their way through the dialogue. The ever so desperate attempt to avoid the awkward discussion of the “birds and the bees”. “The Sex Talk” is a notoriously taboo subject, which parents and kid alike have learned to fear. But the idea of “The Sex Talk” being a singular conversation, ignores the importance of the topic. How we take care of ourselves is so important and as parents, you offer us invaluable guidance. “The Sex Talk” should be an ongoing and open dialogue between kids and parents which should not only be about sex, but also relationships, sexuality, and body image to name a just few of the subjects.

I am lucky enough to have parents who recognize the importance of these conversations and from an early age have welcomed them. Knowing that my parents are always open to talk, free of judgment is very comforting. I have found that not judging and being honest, is so important in these conversations and ultimately makes them a lot more beneficial because it encourages us to talk openly. These conversations have never been an interrogation or a lecture, but a free and multi-sided dialogue. I think if you embrace the awkwardness, which is what my parents have done, and approach the conversations with an open mind, it will become easier and easier to talk to one another about uncomfortable subjects.

While my parents have always aimed to be honest with me, when they were asked the inevitable question, “How are babies made?” by five-year-old me, they, of course, did not explain the biology behind sexual reproduction because I would not have understood. But instead, they attempted to answer my question in a way that was age appropriate yet still forthcoming. Tailoring these conversations to where we are in life makes it a lot more relevant and meaningful. You don’t have to plan a date to have “The Talk”. Sometimes we may seek out your guidance, but other times you will have to recognize the teachable moments. The right time could be anytime— seeing an example of a toxic relationship in the media and explaining why the relationship is damaging; bringing up sexuality after you read an interesting article in a publication; or simply asking us how we are doing and offering your help if you notice we are struggling. I really appreciate how my parents are always open to having these conversations when it is relevant to my life and let me dictate the course of the discussion. It has made a notoriously uncomfortable talk, because if I am being completely frank, talking about sex and your personal life with your parents is not fun for anyone, into a more moderately bearable experience.

Over time these conversations developed into discussions about relationships with others, and not even specifically with romantic partners. Some of the most important conversations came when I struggled with friendships. I remember after moving schools I had a particularly hard time making friends. In turn, I allowed not such great people into my life. While I recognize it was an extremely hard conversation for my parents to have with me because I definitely did not want to hear what they had to say, they sat me down and told me how these new relationships were negatively affecting me. This conversation turned out to be a very difficult one, but definitely one I needed. 

Finally, conversations about sex or even just our personal lives will be awkward, but don’t let that scare you off. These conversations are so important and require your willingness to engage in them. Your knowledge and advice is extremely valuable and will ultimately help us make the best possible decisions for ourselves. 

Back to School with myHealth

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Make sure those vaccine records are up to date!

 Did you know, shots aren’t just for kids! Teens need to get their shots, too.

 We all need shots (vaccines) to help protect us from serious diseases. This protection is called immunization. To help keep our community safe, myHealth For Teens & Young Adults is proudly participating in National Immunization Awareness Month.

Not only newborns and infants, but also your preteens and teens will need immunizations from time to time to protect your friends and family. In general, there are four vaccines suggested for teens to help save them from serious illnesses. One of them is the most popular flu vaccine, which should be administered every year. The other vaccines that are recommended for teens during their eleventh or twelfth year include:

  • Meningococcal conjugate vaccine to protect against meningitis and bloodstream infections (septicemia).
  • HPV (Human Papillomavirus) vaccine to protect against cancers caused by HPV.
  • Tdap vaccine to protect against tetanus, diphtheria and whooping cough (pertussis).

As most preteens get their shots before school starts, it could be difficult to get an appointment to meet your child’s doctor. Therefore, plan it well before and get an appointment at the earliest to avoid missing the shots. Always be sure to check with your doctor in order to make sure that your preteen is current with the vaccines. Remember, they may have to catch up with vaccines that they have missed while they were young.

Schedule your appointment today at myHealth to make sure your vaccines are up to date!

International Friendship Day!

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Did you know July 30th is International Friendship Day? You may be thinking to yourself, hmm there sure are a lot of international (fill in the blank) days, but this one has a special meaning. The United Nations proclaimed International Friendship Day in 2011. This day was created to celebrate the importance of friendship, its ability to inspire peace, and build bridges between communities. Research shows friendships have health benefits too1! The Mayo Clinic states friends can…

  • Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
  • Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
  • Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
  • Help you cope with stress and trauma
  • Encourage you to live a healthier lifestyle

We think this is pretty awesome! More and more studies are showing friendships are good for us. A 2010 study, which combined data from more than 308,000 people across 148 studies, found a strong connection between positive social relationships and increased life span2.

As you read this, we hope you are able to think of some of the great friends in your life. Unfortunately, we know friendships aren’t always so great. How do we know someone is a good friend? How do we find friends? How do we find people who like us for who we are? These are some of the questions young people ask when we are out in the community. Everyone deserves to have friends that will support them, encourage them, and appreciate them for who they are.

The myHealth education team teaches young people to navigate friendships and emphasizes these qualities and how they help create healthy friendships (or any relationships).

Emotional Safety: Both people can be themselves and know they will not be judged. They are secure and confident in the friendship. They can take risks, feel challenged in an exciting way that respects their boundaries.

Trust: Friends have confidence in each other, and know they can rely on them. Friends can feel safe to be who they are and share openly with each other.

Support: Friends encourage each other, they value each other’s opinions and listen non-judgmentally. They are there to cheer you on in good times, and be someone to lean on in the not so good times.

Communication: Friends can connect and share openly and honestly. When differences arise, friends can talk through problems cooperatively. Boundaries are respected.

Boundaries: Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them. This could be emotionally, physically, or virtually. Friends respect each other’s boundaries.

Equality: One person does not have power or control over the other. Everyone in a friendship gets a part in the decisions being made, like where to eat, or what to do. If one person is more comfortable talking about their emotions, that doesn’t mean only that person talks openly and makes themselves vulnerable.

Think of your friendships, are these characteristics present? If you have a young person, do their friendships have these characteristics? Remember we should also be a good friend to ourselves. Do you treat yourself the way you would treat a friend? It is also important to recognize these qualities in the way we treat ourselves, and the way our young people treat themselves.

Whether you have a lot of friends, a few friends, or are still trying to find your people that’s okay! Take some time on International Friendship Day to celebrate the friendships in your life! Call an old friend and check in to see how they are doing. Meet up with friends and enjoy the summer weather. Attend an event in your community or join a new group to expand your (real-life) social network.  Friendships are a valuable part of our life and worth celebrating! Investing time in making friends and strengthening friendships can improve our health and give us a better sense of connectedness throughout our lives.

  1. The Health Benefits of Good Friends. (2016, September 28). Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
  2. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. http://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316

Happy Pride!

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Happy Pride from your friends at myHealth. For many in the LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, plus) community, it is a time to recognize those that came before us, those that fought for human rights, freedom of choice, and for passing the laws that allow people to be with their families and those they love.

Pride is a way to recognize the impact that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other individuals have had on history locally, nationally, and internationally. Pride started in New York in 1970, a year after the Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village which is recognized as the event that helped the LGBTQ+ movement gain momentum (read about Stonewall here https://www.britannica.com/event/Stonewall-riots). Pride is a way for communities to voice their demands for equal rights and protections. It is also a celebration of life and sexuality that brings communities together who are frequently discriminated against and left out of conversations.

The following leaders are only 3 of MANY who have been monumental in improving the lives of LGBTQ+ people everywhere. We celebrate the dedication and accomplishments of these folks and the MANY others who have had an impact throughout past, present, and future LGBTQ+ lives.

Barbara Gittings

Barbara Gittings was a prominent activist for LGBTQ+ equality. Her work includes, founding the New York Chapter of Daughters of Bilitis (DOB), picketing in one of the first gay rights protests in 1965, and getting the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses in 1972. Barbara was instrumental in promoting positive literature about homosexuality in libraries through her work with the American Library Association’s Gay Task Force (known today as the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Round Table).

“Equality means more than passing laws. The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts.”

Andrea Jenkins

Andrea Jenkins is an American policy aide, politician, writer, performance artist, poet, and transgender activist. She serves on the Minneapolis City Council and is the first African American openly trans woman to be elected to office in the United States. She is currently curating the Transgender Oral History Project at the University of Minnesota; collecting stories of people and their experiences as transgender and gender nonconforming people.

“I’m really proud to have achieved that status, and I look forward to more trans people joining me in elected office, and all other kinds of leadership roles in our society.”

Sameer Jha

Sameer Jha is a 16-year-old high school student who identifies as a queer, gender-nonconforming. Semeer founded The Empathy Alliance, a nonprofit that works with students and educators to help make schools safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ+ students. As a first generation American, with parents who immigrated from India and Pakistan, Sameer also works to remove the stigma around being queer in South Asian communities.

“As a queer person of color who traces my heritage to a country in which homosexuality is punishable by death, I want to use my privilege as an American citizen with a supportive family to raise awareness and fight for the people who can’t.”