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My stance on drugs - a personal story of a college woman and her older brother struggling with drug abuse

“My Stance on Drugs”

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Drug use has admittedly not been an issue at the forefront of my mind through most of the high school. That’s not to say drugs haven’t been around, because of course, they have. Most people I know have experimented at least a little bit. Drugs have always been a part of the high school experience, from what I’ve seen. It’s never seemed like much of a problem, so long as it’s been limited to alcohol and weed, and even nicotine, although that one is a bit sadder. It’s human nature to want to try new things, but if a person wants to avoid drugs in high school it’s entirely possible. Nobody is going to force you to try their drugs, it’s a waste of money. My stance has always been that as long as people aren’t messing with anything too physically addictive, all is well. 

My stance shifted in March, after a college visit. I had a break between classes at the University of Minnesota when by chance I ran into my older brother, a couple of days into a hellish, week-long acid trip. I didn’t know exactly what was going on because he wasn’t making enough sense to tell me, but obviously, something was wrong, and so I dropped everything to try to keep him safe. Everything about the situation was shocking, because it was my brother, and because he’d always seemed so happy and healthy and not at all psychotic. Nobody tells you what to do in situations like these, and I wasn’t at all prepared to deal with it alone. I called my mom, and the police, and we got him to the mental health clinic on campus, and then into an ambulance, and to the hospital. We spent most of the day in waiting rooms. The doctor sent him home almost immediately, even though he obviously shouldn’t have. Everyone was too scared to make any noise in our house. I was too scared to be at home at all. After a few days, we got him back into the hospital, where he stayed for the remainder of the week. It was terrifying to watch him put himself through hell, without knowing when, or if, it was going to end. He’s doing much better now, but March was a bad month for my family, and it was especially awful for him.

The thing about my brother was that he never tried any seriously addictive drugs. He was making his fair share of questionable decisions, but none of them was the kind I would have taken too seriously before March. I got a bit more touchy about drug use when I realized anything could happen to anyone. Trauma does that to a person. Fundamentally, my views haven’t changed much, but my experience made me realize that there are some major issues when it comes to awareness and communication surrounding drug use. 

It’s unrealistic to tell kids to never use drugs. They’re going to do what they want, and if that’s to smoke weed and drink with their friends, so be it. Telling young people that they shouldn’t use drugs is about as effective as telling them not to have sex. Drugs aren’t going anywhere. Even when it looks like a common drug is dying out, companies specifically target young people with new iterations of the same thing, as we’ve seen with the fall of cigarettes and the rise of vaping. It’s not great, but it’s the truth. 

Instead of telling kids that drugs are bad and leaving it at that, even if they are, parents should try to aim for open communication. Most parents have probably at least dabbled before, and hiding that from their kids doesn’t actually do any good. It’s more hypocritical than anything. Similarly, freaking out when you find your kid’s weed isn’t going to make them stop smoking, it’ll just make them more paranoid about being caught again. I think that the best thing a parent can do is to make drugs seem less taboo by being open about them. Obviously encouraging drug use is a bad idea, but teaching kids to be safer in their usage is within reason. If people are being honest about what they’re doing, the chances of things getting out of hand are a lot slimmer. 

Parents should be a resource their kids can turn to if they need help, which means they need to come from a place of understanding. People should be taught that addiction is a health problem and not a moral shortcoming and that they have support systems in place, even if hopefully, they will never have to rely on them. They should be taught that a drug doesn’t have to be a scary, hard drug to be a problem. People should also have information available about the risks of drug use, and not just the “if you use drugs, you will die” type of information. It should be clear to people what they are getting into, and that they can get help for their drug use before it’s an emergency if they ever need it, and not get in trouble for it.

It’s never too soon for parents to start talking to their kids about drug use. It may not be fun or comfortable, but I would hope that the safety and competence that comes from an open dialogue is enough to outweigh the discomfort of talking about drugs with your kids. If you work at it enough, it should stop feeling awkward after a while. And to any young people reading, the chances are that your parents are more understanding and supportive than you think they are. Whether you need them or not, please trust that they are there for you.

Know that there are plenty of other resources to turn to when it comes to drug-related problems. Don’t be afraid to come to MyHealth with any questions you might have. In case of a more serious issue, here are some helplines:

24/7 National Drug Use/Addiction Hotline: 1-888-633-3239

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP

Lastly, if you are ever in a drug-related emergency and someone may be in need of medical assistance, don’t hesitate to call 911. Remember, it’s not illegal to do drugs, it’s only illegal to have them. Your safety is the top priority. 

 

Happy Pride Month!

Happy Pride

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Happy Pride! Check out what Lane, one of our awesome Youth Advisory Board (YAB) members, has to say about Pride and what it means to them.

June, or “Pride Month”, is a time for celebration. It’s a time to recognize all people of all genders and sexualities across the country and across the world. It is a time to remember those who fought for our rights and made it possible to have the freedom we do now. It is also a time to see how much progress we still have to make. For all the LGBTQIA+ people across the globe, it’s mainly a time for us to be loud and proud of who we are.

It’s not always safe for LGBTQIA+ kids to be open in public places, so the festival gives them a chance to feel secure and unguarded about themselves. The month’s festivities and bright colors give a bold identity to a proud community that has prospered even in the face of adversity.

This, to me, means that I can be strong and bold, regardless of what people think of me at school, in my family, or even what random strangers may think of me. It gives me the courage to be myself and provides a community of support for other people like me. I was raised in a Catholic family, went to Catholic schools my whole life, and never knew many LGBTQIA+ people until I was older. I felt like I was all alone, but after my first pride month, I gained friends who really knew and understood me. They made me realize that I wasn’t alone, and that being myself was okay. The most freeing lesson I’ve learned is how to be genuinely me. One thing I wish everyone knew is how to support young LGBTQIA+ people, especially adults. It’s hard for young kids to ask adults for the things they need, especially when the driving force behind the needs is something as personal as their identity. There are a few simple things adults can do to help young LGBTQIA+ kids feel more comfortable expressing themselves.

  1. Introduce yourself with your pronouns. Walking up to someone and being upfront about your own identity will help them be more comfortable talking about theirs. For example, when I introduce myself, I make sure to say, “I use he/him/his or they/them/their pronouns.”
  2. Do research on gender-neutral pronouns that you haven’t heard about before. There are pronouns used less commonly like ze/zir and ey/em that many non-binary people use. Knowing how to use these comfortably helps people feel accepted.
  3. Use gender-neutral terms in conversation. Rather than saying “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, use terms like “partner” or “significant other”. This can work for siblings, parents, and spouses as well.
  4. Celebrate pride month with us! Even if you aren’t LGBTQIA+, showing your support for the community can go a long way. Grab that rainbow flag and wave it along with us! Help young kids and LGBTQIA+ teenagers and adults to be loud and proud by being accepting and proud of yourself. Whatever is going on in the world around you or in your community, choose love.

Teen Pregnancy Prevention & Awareness

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It is May.  All I see on Facebook is picture after picture of my friends’ kids dressed up in fancy clothes for prom.  The girls look beautiful, alive and in some cases quite alluring.  The young men look more mature than I have ever seen, a bit cocky even, wearing their suits, ties and tuxedos. The kids don’t look like kids.  They look like young adults.  And now that I’ve thought about that, I’m focused more on what’s going to happen on prom night than on what they are wearing and how happy they look.

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with my 15-year-old son about condoms. He has been to the clinic where I work and he knows that there is a bowl full of free condoms in the lobby.  As we were driving home from school one day he said casually, ‘Can you only get condoms at the clinic?’  I snorted a giggle and said, ‘Of course not.  You can get them anywhere.’  Seriously, how did he not know this? His response, ‘You’re lying.  You can’t just get them anywhere.’  Well, he was right about that.  They aren’t available anywhere. But nearly. I explained that you can get them at a CVS, Walgreens, pretty much any pharmacy, gas station, convenience store and of course at Target and the grocery store.  ‘Target?’ he says.  ‘You must be kidding.’

Shortly after this conversation, now with both my teen daughter and son in tow, we were in Target picking up a few staples for the household. Without really saying much about it, I marched towards the feminine hygiene aisle, right down to the end of the aisle where there is a very large and elaborate selection of condoms, dental dams and other products capable of providing safer sex. I just stopped and pointed. ‘See, they have condoms at Target.’  And then the three of us just stood in front of the display and stared.  For several minutes.  Certainly, the selection is much greater at Target than at the clinic.  Who knew there were so many choices, colors, scents and even flavors?  Well, now both my teenage kids know.

Prom night is special not only because they are often quickly graduating from high school.  In some cases, prom night is the night these kids have decided to lose their virginity.  The event is depicted, often with great humor, in many movies and TV shows. However, many young people are not fully prepared, or equipped, to have safe sex on prom night. As a parent, you can help your soon to be adults into making responsible choices by giving them access to and the knowledge about where to buy condoms. It is not that hard.  It is not that scary.  Just take the lead and walk them through the aisle at Target.

In the clinic, May is often a month where we see a few extra unplanned, positive pregnancies. To all the parents reading this: whether you have a tween, a teen or a young adult at home, please make sure they know where to buy condoms.  It just makes sense.

Role Models

By | Blog, myHealth Story

It is difficult to imagine how my life would be altered had the people in it not been there, how it would be affected had other individuals been inserted. The advice I seek out, the opinions offered, and the support given continually adds indescribable value to my life. My father was my first mentor and role model. He believed in me, loved me unconditionally, and supported my decisions. He allows me to make mistakes and fail, a crucial part of growing and learning. He continues to be my sounding board and cheerleader. The amount of love I feel and experience is overwhelming.

As a professional, I connected with coworkers and supervisors who have guided and supported me; one of which is our executive director, Gerilyn. She is one of the strongest women I know. She gave me courage to leave a job that was breaking me down emotionally, and supports me as I grow with my role as a health educator at myHealth. I would not be at this organization or in this position had it not been for her, and I am so grateful. I have an abundance of strong women in my life who mentor me. I have had serious conversations, laughed, and cried with these women. They have encouraged me to take jobs, or not take jobs; they have reminded me of my value and inner beauty, and most importantly, they have challenged me.

It is not possible for us to know exactly what we are doing, how do we learn if we have never done it? Mentors can share their experiences and failures to help us thrive and avoid making the same mistakes.

http://www.mentorset.org.uk/what-is-mentoring.html

What is mentoring?

“Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximize their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be.” Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring

 

More resources about mentoring:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/stevenberglas/2012/02/02/seven-reasons-most-people-need-a-mentor/#792ab72456f8

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/13288/1/The-Importance-of-Role-Models.html

http://www.rootsofaction.com/role-models-youth-strategies-success/

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